Woman, 35, in knitted pants horror

I'm knitting a shawl. A perfectly pretty shawl. It's Lehmus and you'll notice it looks beautiful on the designer's blog. But mine looks like this so far.

 

It looks like a pair of frilly knickers. Well, I mean, probably not the sort you would have in your underwear drawer of course. But a pair of BIG, LACY PANTS nevertheless. Got to love lace knitting, haven't you? For the pain, frustration and utter helplessness you feel in its holey little hands. Dear Lace, please stop torturing me and turn into something beautiful. Now. Before I lose the will to knit...

Hmm, okay. A bit more like that and I might consider picking up the needles again. Lace. It's not for the terminally lazy. I like a garment that I can knit, iron (yes, IRON) to the right proportions and then wear. Lovely lace. It likes a lot of hard work. Spraying and blocking, with special fancy-schmancy pins and a spray bottle (last seen in this house when the steam iron stopped steaming). Lace, O, demanding lace. Lace whose intricacies I only just learnt to keep track of by using stitch markers:

(thanks for the tip, Rosee, it's saved me a lot of headaches). O Lace! I curse thy holey knitted face of horror! ahem. Cup of tea, anyone?

The dog finds the whole thing very uninteresting.

He was more interested in what he'd spotted.

A teeny-tiny toad in the garden. A baby I suppose. A toadlet! Look how small he is. And I don't have gigantic hands, in case you were wondering.

Toads, lace knitting...and here are some pretty forget-me-nots and a dandelion for your viewing pleasure. I love my forget-me-nots as you know. I like how my patch of them looks like a fieldful...

Hey, who said "weeds" at the back?!!

In other news: YARN! I've dyed up a few skeins which will go into the shop this week, with more dyeing planned next week. I'm also busy making some bags - they're sold out at the moment, so I'd better stop gallivanting around in the forget-me-nots and get back to the Singer! I hope you are all having a lovely bank holiday weekend :-)

Skeins! Blossom! Sky!

The sun is shining, the flowers are out, and the skeins are drying...or the skeins are out, the sun is drying (apparently it is, sort of) and the flowers are shining...?

And there are new yarns in the shop! Here's a preview...

They're posing on the bed of forget-me-nots (my fave bit of the garden and the bit that never gets strimmed, much to Mr Yaffle's chagrin). Skeins are a notoriously vain species, preferring to be shot against perfect backgrounds. Causes me immense trouble! Demanding as film stars, skeins! Anyway, see them posing for real in the shop.

Also out posing today is the cherry blossom. Warning: for those of a cliche-averting disposition, ubiquitous blossom-against-sky shot follows. If you don't want to know the results, look away now:

 

I like this picture - it reminds me of a really kitsch photo in a 1960s book about flowers. Or a seaside postcard! I put the flash on and upped the contrast - don't try this at home, folks, or you too will have a picture this bright...!

Sewing, skeining and STUFF!

Here's what my floor looks like after this weekend's frenetic sewing activity.

I've been making a patchwork dress! Inspired by these amazing dresses, I thought I'd make my own. I used the bodice from a Simplicity pattern, and made up the rest. Mind you, after a few days of sewing patches together and struggling with seemingly endless gathering, I did think more than once, "hmm, I could buy one of hers and save myself the agony", but once I'd worked out the import duty on something from Australia I made a cup of refreshing tea and carried on stitching and gathering.

And here it is. I just have the hem to do and a belt to add. Crazy dress! Mind you if you know me you'll know this is completely in character. In fact, it's made from offcuts from other dresses I've made (padded out with a couple of FQs I bought with my vouchers) so you'll have seen all of it before! I'd take a pic of it outside in the garden with me prancing about modelling it, but I can't take a self portrait properly, and my assistant is temporarily indisposed.

He likes sitting under my desk while I work. (I am reminded of the fantastic under-deskness of my last job - we all had a treasure trove of stuff under there, but never a dog! I still carry on the tradition of Crap Under Desk, you'll be pleased to know!) Except it's not great when I'm sewing as I need the foot-room for the machine control (in the right of the picture). He doesn't like that and sulks on the landing instead. Anyway. I'll get round to making Mr Yaffle take a picture of me wearing the dress of craziness one day :-)

Shop news!
I've got a dyeing day tomorrow and over the weekend so there will be some new colours going up on the site by early next week. Also, I've been re-skeining some existing colours to give you a better idea of how the colours work with each other.

This one is Paintbox

And this one is Stargazer.  I've re-skeined just one of each colourway so you can see how it looks. The pics will be up on the website today and tomorrow.

And finally. I hope you're not eating your dinner. Here's today's mystery object...

Yup, folks, it's raw wool...! There was loads of it strewn across the fields yesterday when I took the dog out, so naturally I picked it up and put it in my bag. No-one was around to look apart from the odd sheep so I saved myself some face ;-) Trouble is, I have no idea what to do with it really. Or why I picked it up. Mr Trebus strikes again...I think, given the abundance of mud and vegetable matter in there, I can't see myself washing, carding and spinning such a small bit. Hmm. If only it was more attractive, or sweeter smelling (and if only you too could enjoy the aroma!) I'd be half-tempted to spin it...but for now it's on the bird table!!

Not what it seams

The neverending purple cardigan is nearly finished! Look!

(needle plonked into knitting. it's not really doing a stitch, cuz that would be doin it rong)

I'm sewing it up. And I'm really not enjoying doing that. Do you find that you knit beautifully and neatly, only to really botch things up when you sew the seams? Hmm. I do. I don't really like all-in-one garments either because I end up over-estimating how wide my underarms need to be (I think that's the seamstress in me. Allow for seams! FAIL. It hav no seams.) and the last one I knitted deserves to be in an 80's treasury of batwing cardigans. Gah.

Franken-cardigan! Ugh! I can sew, I can knit. But combine the two together and it's a disaster! I'll carry on and just keep my arms by my sides so no-one can glimpse the seams when I wear it. I could start a whole new fashion. Maybe I should take up Irish dancing. And wear the cardigan to that.

Heaps of Happy!

A few heaps of happiness* for you today:

They're my winter coats! I was putting them in the wardrobe ready for the next cold snap and thought the colours were amazing in the spring sunshine. I have eight different colours of these Welsh Tapestry coats. They're so cheap in the charity shops ("because they're horrid!!" I hear you cry), I can't pass up on one if I see it. Even if it's oversized and in a funny colour combination. I love them. They're made so well - made to last, unlike today's mass-manufactured coats which barely last out the winter. These have been going since the 60s and 70s, and will probably outlive me! Most likely they'll end up in the hands of one of my descendants, appearing on Flog It!, saying "I can't believe anyone used to wear this stuff!!"

Here's another heap of gert lushness:

 

A pile of Kaffe Fassett fabric. Yum. I'd like it to come and join my stash but it's a work purchase :-( which is great news for you, of course!! I am busy making sock knitting bags (bags for your sock knitting as opposed to bags which knit) for the shop. And  - BIG FANFARE!! - the shop is going to be open on April 1st!  It's not an April Fool's joke either. I kid you not! You can find the shop here. I'm sure I'll post between now and then. But to keep you going, here's the final heap of loveliness for the day. Yaffle Yarn!

*heaps of happiness and heaps of gert lushness are subject to subjective opinion and cannot be objectively guaranteed. The rate of lushness and happiness can go up as well as down. Resemblance to lushness either living or Ted is purely coincidental. Remember your gert lushness is at risk if you do not keep up payment of gorgeousness or other loans secured on it. Mices correct at time of going to bed.

Tiredknits.

I've rustled up this sign, and it's now going to stand 3ft high, on steel legs, in front of the television. Because without it, I'm doomed to spend more hours fixing my mistakes than actual knitting. (Or can I claim Un-knitting as a new craft? Because I do it to really very high standards)

It's the purple cardigan you see. I'm getting there, really I am. This is my most favourite purple cardigan in a long and distinguished line of attempts to knit purple cardigans. I only have the sleeves to knit now, so I'm not giving up.

It's got lacy bits in. Not complicated, mind-bending lacy bits, just evil, slippery lacy bits which lull you into a false sense of "hey! I can knit lace" and then turn around and spit in your eye as you forget one row of crucial yarn overs eight rows down and have absolutely no way of fixing it without ripping the whole lot back. gentle, manageable lacy bits which are a bit of a challenge but really quite simple.

 

Simple, see - I mean, 30% of this cardigan is made of holes and therefore, air! Easy! Except when I'm tired. Because it's at that point my Inner Knitter fails to remember to k2tog or SKPO or YO and instead, Inner Knitter thinks 'ooh I am now knitting a sock!' and makes hands carry on knitting every stitch. And Inner Knitter doesn't remember to check if I've done every row correctly until it's too late and poor, tired, brain has to make hands go back and try to unravel and put stitches back on needles without twisting, and then make hands re-knit with exactly the same mistakes in, but four rows up! I think I am in need of a nap...

Books wot I hav red

Something is wrong with this picture. Click to have a closer look. It's because I'm fed up of seeing that 'meme' floating round with a list of 100 books on it.  Here's my alternative version for those of you who may recognise some of the more oft-read titles, along with whether I've read them or not. Do suggest your favourites, so I can add them to the list too. Fun for all the family!

1. The last book in the series, which had great reviews, and which you waited for ages to come out in paperback so you could afford it, but which turned out to be disappointing – yes. Damn you, author!

2. Book with pretty graphic matt-and-spot-varnish cover that looked lovely on the Waterstone’s display but
turned out to be convoluted and pretentious – no

3. The one that had bad reviews in the newspapers but you loved the author so bought it
– yes

4. One you got from the library and forgot to return - always meant to read that one, the fines are shocking by now though so I've hidden it under the bed and every time I see it I feel sick with guilt and shame

5. Book that you knew you should have read, but couldn’t get past the first page –
no

6. Book you're secretly ashamed of reading but read anyway - I wouldn't own up to that if I were you

7. Complete works of some midlands-based dead bard or other – I’m going to say I’ve read them all even
that really obscure one no-one except the Emeritus Professor of Eng.Lit at Oxford has read

8. A book that’s really for children but you keep re-reading with some guilt – yes, and I know my brain is regressing because of it

9. The depressing one where everyone dies at the end but it won some prize or other so you bought it
– yes I read that one and needed counselling afterwards

10. The Science fiction one that the critics make fun of all the time – yes, laugh at my choice of reading and I’ll kick you into hyperspace

11. Really worthy one with bonnets in with a sad ending that makes you cry – yes, I read it every Christmas

12. Massively fat book which the author was paid by the word for so no wonder it’s big enough to prop up the rest of your books – yes, eventually I will get through that before the moths and bookworms do

13. Post-modern novel written in a fabricated language which should exclude most of the reading population it's so damn clever - No.

14. The one that won a ManWomanBooker prize and you bought to kill time at the airport – no, and I left it on the plane

15. Book that you’ve read but it was re-issued in a pretty hardback foiled edition so you had
to buy it again because it looks pretty on the shelf – never read that version, it’s
too beautiful to open

16. A book a friend lent you and you didn't get past the first page but when you returned it you
said you’d read and enjoyed it  and did things like nod and say "hmm yeah that bit was great, great, um, yeah oh I can't remember that bit, oh but the rest was fab, the bit with her and him and all that" when they asked you about it– no

17. Book your friend lent you that you subsequently spilt coffee all over and you
had to buy a replacement copy and you’re sure she’s sussed you out but you
never speak of it – yes

18. The book the same friend gave you and you dropped into the bath while reading in the bath – yes and this time my friend hasn't spoken to me since
 19. Book that you really want to read but can’t get into and is now under the bed
gathering dust – no

20. Book with ridiculous crime plot in it that was so gripping you stayed up all night to read –
twice

21. Heart-wrenching True Life tale that felt like tragedy-voyeurism when you read it – yes

22. Book you want everyone to read but no-one else likes it so you form a fan club of one for it - yes, twenty times

23. Book you had to read for the book club you joined so you could meet like-minded
people and eventually you stopped going because they all suggested such weird stuff
– no

24. All the books you read at school – I only went to school for my dinner

25. Book that you should have read at school for A level but got bored halfway through and did your
essay about the Merchant Ivory film
instead– no

26. Book about knitting – lots of them, all the time, why aren’t they on the list?

27. Chick lit book you felt so guilty about reading but read it anyway and it took
about 3 minutes to read then you got hooked and read the rest of the series in a weekend - yes

28. Another worthy tome they all say you should have read and you pretend you’ve
read but haven't – no yes, of course I've read that

29. The one with the attractive cover that would look good with your decor - no but it looks really pretty on the shelf
30. A book you bought just to make up numbers in a 3 for 2 offer - no
31. Two books you bought as the other two thirds of that 3 for 2 offer - no
32. Impulse buy at a train station - I got so into that book I nearly ended up in Penzance instead of Gloucester
33. The book the critics said was 'unputdownable' - It was so good I couldn't pick it up
34. I’ve had more fun reading the Yellow Pages than this book - no
35. Who decides this stupid list anyway and isn’t it just another way of making you
feel thick and inferior – yes

36. This list makes me want to punch whoever came up with it – oh yes!