Thursday, 5 March 2009

Books wot I hav red


Something is wrong with this picture. Click to have a closer look. It's because I'm fed up of seeing that 'meme' floating round with a list of 100 books on it.  Here's my alternative version for those of you who may recognise some of the more oft-read titles, along with whether I've read them or not. Do suggest your favourites, so I can add them to the list too. Fun for all the family!

1. The last book in the series, which had great reviews, and which you waited for ages to come out in paperback so you could afford it, but which turned out to be disappointing – yes. Damn you, author!

2. Book with pretty graphic matt-and-spot-varnish cover that looked lovely on the Waterstone’s display but
turned out to be convoluted and pretentious – no

3. The one that had bad reviews in the newspapers but you loved the author so bought it

4. One you got from the library and forgot to return - always meant to read that one, the fines are shocking by now though so I've hidden it under the bed and every time I see it I feel sick with guilt and shame

5. Book that you knew you should have read, but couldn’t get past the first page –

6. Book you're secretly ashamed of reading but read anyway - I wouldn't own up to that if I were you

7. Complete works of some midlands-based dead bard or other – I’m going to say I’ve read them all even
that really obscure one no-one except the Emeritus Professor of Eng.Lit at Oxford has read

8. A book that’s really for children but you keep re-reading with some guilt – yes, and I know my brain is regressing because of it

9. The depressing one where everyone dies at the end but it won some prize or other so you bought it
yes I read that one and needed counselling afterwards

10. The Science fiction one that the critics make fun of all the time – yes, laugh at my choice of reading and I’ll kick you into hyperspace

11. Really worthy one with bonnets in with a sad ending that makes you cry – yes, I read it every Christmas

12. Massively fat book which the author was paid by the word for so no wonder it’s big enough to prop up the rest of your books – yes, eventually I will get through that before the moths and bookworms do

13. Post-modern novel written in a fabricated language which should exclude most of the reading population it's so damn clever - No.

14. The one that won a ManWomanBooker prize and you bought to kill time at the airport – no, and I left it on the plane

15. Book that you’ve read but it was re-issued in a pretty hardback foiled edition so you had
to buy it again because it looks pretty on the shelf – never read that version, it’s
too beautiful
to open

16. A book a friend lent you and you didn't get past the first page but when you returned it you
said you’d read and enjoyed it  and did things like nod and say "hmm yeah that bit was great, great, um, yeah oh I can't remember that bit, oh but the rest was fab, the bit with her and him and all that" when they asked you about it– no

17. Book your friend lent you that you subsequently spilt coffee all over and you
had to buy a replacement copy and you’re sure she’s sussed you out but you
never speak of it – yes

18. The book the same friend gave you and you dropped into the bath while reading in the bath – yes and this time my friend hasn't spoken to me since
 19. Book that you really want to read but can’t get into and is now under the bed
gathering dust – no

20. Book with ridiculous crime plot in it that was so gripping you stayed up all night to read –

21. Heart-wrenching True Life tale that felt like tragedy-voyeurism when you read it – yes

22. Book you want everyone to read but no-one else likes it so you form a fan club of one for it - yes, twenty times

23. Book you had to read for the book club you joined so you could meet like-minded
people and eventually you stopped going because they all suggested such weird stuff

24. All the books you read at school – I only went to school for my dinner

25. Book that you should have read at school for A level but got bored halfway through and did your
essay about the Merchant Ivory film
instead– no

26. Book about knitting – lots of them, all the time, why aren’t they on the list?

27. Chick lit book you felt so guilty about reading but read it anyway and it took
about 3 minutes to read then you got hooked and read the rest of the series in a weekend - yes

28. Another worthy tome they all say you should have read and you pretend you’ve
read but haven't – no yes, of course I've read that

29. The one with the attractive cover that would look good with your decor - no but it looks really pretty on the shelf
30. A book you bought just to make up numbers in a 3 for 2 offer - no
31. Two books you bought as the other two thirds of that 3 for 2 offer - no
32. Impulse buy at a train station - I got so into that book I nearly ended up in Penzance instead of Gloucester
33. The book the critics said was 'unputdownable' - It was so good I couldn't pick it up
34. I’ve had more fun reading the Yellow Pages than this book - no
35. Who decides this stupid list anyway and isn’t it just another way of making you
feel thick and inferior – yes

36. This list makes me want to punch whoever came up with it – oh yes!

1 comment:

  1. I hate those lists. They always make me feel inadequate. I have a first in Eng Lit and everyone I know has always read more on those lists than me. (I did mostly poetry.)
    Incidentally, I read Mr Whicher over my holiday, and it was great! I think you'd like this one, which I picked up at the airport:


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